Message In A Dream

Funny how peope walk in and out of our lives so often. Do you ever know who's permanent and who's not? Is anyone? It was on my mind a lot today. I was thinking about all of the people I've met in my life. The majority of which, are not a part of my life now. At first I wasn't sure how I felt about the fact that most people have walked out. The more I thought about it, the more it bothered me. I started to think that there's something wrong with me...then I caught myself. Those negative thoughts sneak in so easily. The people who have, over the years stayed...are some of the best people I have ever known! I want that. I want to surround myself with good people. Real, genuine people! It doesn't matter if there are a million or just an handful. As long as they have something pure to offer. As long as I have something pure they need, I will give it! I love people. I have always been a people person. Meeting new people is a big part of my job. Everyday I go to work, I leaving knowing more names than when I came. In my mind there are givens...people who you just expect to stay, the ones you think will never leave. My givens are mostly gone.... Jess I thought would be with me until we were both old and wrinkled. My parents, they are supposed to raise you, be around your whole life, and mine died before I could even save a memory of them. Losing Jess and my parents was beyond my control. There is a reason for it though.

I had a dream last night, that I was still in highschool. My parents were there, Jess was there, all of my old friends, I had a huge family. The whole thing is kindof fuzzy, but I remember I was outside. I was running track for gym class and everyone in my circle, both friends and family, were all running with me. I was running with my eyes closed. When I opened them, everyone was gone. I tried to stop running to turn around and find them, but all I could do was turn my head. My body wouldn't stop running. They were gone and I was alone. I tried to yell for them and my voice was silent. The further around the track I got, the less I could remember the faces of all the people who were with me. When I finally got to the end of the dream, the person stopped running and it wasn't me anymore. It didn't look like me. I don't know who it was.

That dream is what triggered my thought pattern today. It's really strange...the message that I'm getting from it. I'm not really sure what to think.