Thursday, November 29, 2007

5 Speed

To me it's amazing that as you begin to heal, things in every aspect of your life change.

With my current situation, I all of a sudden find myself entirely focused and tuned into what I need and what my body is telling me. The human body is far more skilled at involuntary action that I ever realized. There are so many things that your body and your brain do to protect you, it's amazing. Your body knows better than your conscious self does sometimes, what is best for you. We have to stop being afraid to ask for what we need. It's important not to deny yourself. A lot of people tend to think of others before they think of themselves. I myself being one of those people. To be a caregiver is far easier than to ask for and let someone come that close and take care of you. It's a part of the pattern of keeping people at a safe distance. It's good to let people in. It helps more than you'd ever think. Though it may be difficult to cross that first threshold and allow someone in, it will be worth it in the end. You really will feel supported and understood. I only speak from my own experiences and those of the people close to me that I've seen this same thing happen to. To jeopardize such important things, by not asking for help or asking for the things you need, is foolish. And although you may see a situation in a specific way, often times you are too close to have an accurate perspective. If someone you trust can offer you insights and a new perspective that can change the situation and maybe even make things easier.

As these foreign instincts flood into my body I am starting to see what it's like when I live a happy, whole life. Everything happens for a reason. The timing is never wrong. Everything you need will come to you when the time is right. As I have been in need and trust that God will provide for me, things have appeared. I'm not talking about magic, I'm talking about manifestation. You can literally attract things to you with your thought patterns. I had to push my pride to the back burner and learn to ask for what I need and not feel guilty about it. Guilt will eat you alive, especially when it's unnecessary. If you are able to release that guilt and fill the empty space with compassion for yourself and your needs, you will be surprised to see how much differently you feel.

And as parting wisdom, not everyone can read all over your face, or see into your brain, to know what's going on. It's obvious to you when something is up because it's happening to you, other people don't always see you differently. They don't always know when something is wrong. Be careful when you make assumptions. I learned that lesson.

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