Nightmares

The nightmares I've been having are really strange. It's nothing all that traumatic. In my dream I'm laying on my bed, and the window breaks and there is someone laying on top of me. I can't get the person off. I can't tell if it's a man or a woman, the person isn't hurting me. They just lay there on top of me and I can't move, or breath. I'm scared, I scream and cry. Then suddenly I find myself awake, sitting blot upright on my bed, screaming and crying. The window is not broken and there is no one on top of me, stifling me. I'm in panic mode. Ready to get up and run away or fight off an attack, but there's nothing real that's threatening my safety.

I have no idea what the fuck it means, or why I'm having it, or where it even came from! I know in this post it sounds minor, but it has taken me two days just to be able to type about it, to a computer screen. It doesn't bother me in my waking life, once I've overcome the panic and fear. It disturbs my sleep though. Once I've had this nightmare and I wake up, there is no sleep after that. I cannot get back to sleep. I either lay awake, or get up and get ready and go to work early. I've been working a lot of doubles lately.

I'm sure there must be some deep set reason for this nightmare, as there always is. I haven't found it. And until I do find it, there's not really much I or anyone else can do to help me. My whole life I've never really had many nightmares. I had a few when I was a kid. In my adult life though, I never had them until June of last year. HA go figure right. It is really taking a toll on me. All this dark imagination that is going on inside my head when I sleep. What would make me imagine such horrible things!? Some of it I know is based on traumatic events, but this....I just don't know. Until I do know, it will just have to be more restless nights.